The Day Everything went FUBAR!
by Harbinger-of-script
Summary: Just before the Schools of Beauxbatons and Durmstang arrived, Everything turned to shit. A virus, named the "Fandom" turned all those that had ever had a personal fanatical following for anyone, more than healthy, turn into some sort of psychotic monster! Hundreds of thousands of wizards and witches died within the first seconds of the outbreak, but hit worst is Hogwarts(CrackFic)!


**This takes place a week before the Yule Ball in fourth year. Characters: Draco, Harry, Ronald, Cedric, Victor, Seamus, Dean, Fred, George, Justin, Ernie, Theodore, Blaize, Albus Dumbledore.**

"Raise the wall higher! Stun the and toss the bodies up there if you have too! We must hold them!" Dumbledore cried from atop the 'Battlements' of the Great Hall. He and a host of most of Hogwarts eligible bachelores were holed up there in the hopes of staving off the raving hordes of Fan-Girls and Fan-Boys that wanted to drag them of to parts unknown before the ball... For despicable reasons.

"We've got all we can sir!" Fred shouted from the left.

"But we can't send anyone out there!" George shouted from the right.

"To grab any more bodies!" Fred shouted again.

"They'll be over run!" They shouted together.

I'll get them!" Harry heroically shouted as he beat off a trio of blond headed girls with the flat of Godric Gryphindors Goblin made sword. His tattered school robes billowed in some feeling wind as he struck a heroic pose and shot lightning from his wand into the growing horde of fans.

"My boy! You are too special!" Dumbledore cried, his eyes twinkling with tears as he witnessed the bravery of his chosen pupil. He knew th boy would have to sacrifice everything to fight Voldemort, but to see him willing to do so against the hordes of, what he thought were even more terrifying, fans... Was almost inconceivable!

"I'll watch your back Potter!" Draco Malfoy cried as he unleashed unholy vengeance down upon the thousands of fans clawing at their walls. The over turned tabled of the great hall, along with a few conjured battlements and the High table, were all that separated them from their eternal foes.

Green, yellow, and red spells flashed ominously over head as the two Hero boys rushed the wall and leaped over it. Their wands and other weapons at the ready to help build up their defenses. It was the only way they could protect themselves, as the Castle had been unable to aid them anymore with any sort of structural transfiguration to better defend their position in the hall.

"Cover the left flank!" Fred shouted, he cast several bombarda's over the wall and noted the many flying bodies that rained down, each screaming in delight at being hit with a spell from one of their many 'Hunks'. Fred almost lost his lunch at the thought that his magic was making the heathens get off.

Dean and Seamus both charged the wall and took up positions near Fred. They, as well, cast as many spells as they feasibly could to aid in their comrades defense.

"They day will be ours!" Dumbledore shouted, he fired off a slightly underpowered banishing hex to try and stem the tide, but to no avail. "We must keep them back until help arrives! The Ministry will be here soon! We must hold out!" He shouted. He brandished a mighty golden Flamberg with a Phoenix motif for the cross guard. It was golden red with a large red jewel fixed into the hilt of the weapon. It was the Dumbledore family weapon, passed down from father to son for the last hundred generations. Dumbledore smashed it against the bulwark that was the fandoms armies, and broke asunder many of their generals and leaders.

The other men that occupied the fort of last hope were emboldened by this show of might and masculinity, that they fought on thrice as hard and thrice as fierce as they had before.

As if by a sign shown unto them, a group of Slytherins and Hufflepuffs from across the hall charged forth, yelling out as loud as they could -"For the Phoenix!"- all nine of them ran, but only four made it. Victor Krum, Blaize Zabini, Theodore Nott, and Ernie Mcmillan were the only survivors. Even though it was only by chance that the small group had happened across Viktor beating off the fans with, what looked to be, the leg of his head master; Karkarof.

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy met the four at the fore and helped get them over the wall, Ron and Justin helped pull them all up as the sextet got close enough.

"Are there any more!?" Dumbledore asked, lighting up a massive flame wall across the Great Hall to stem the tide even a bit. Viktor and Ernie marched forward and delivered the news. All Hogwarts males, above the age of eleven, had been either captured, or killed. Severus Snape, greasy dungeon bat that he was, had gone down in a blaze of glory. He had entrenched himself, and most of Hufflepuff and Slytherin, in his own personal dorm. They had been hit the hardest, down in the dungeons, as that was where the horde had come from. The group of thirty had lasted for almost two days before they had succumbed to the weight of the fans siege. Severus had been the last to die, in his defense of the students, over two thousand fans had fallen to his wand and poisons.

All those that heard gave a brief moment of silence in remembrance of such a fine hero. When they turned back to battle, a new battle cry was fresh on their lips.

"FOR THE DUNGEON BAT! FOR SEVERUS SNAPE! FOR A TRUE HERO!" they shouted, all in unison as they carved away at the ever coming horde.

After hours of fighting, and when it looked to be getting to much for the defenders, a massive crash was heard overhead. The ceiling collapsed and crushed many of the invaders, though more took their place. Several ropes dropped down atop the position that Dumbledore and the other heros had been defending, something that struck them as worrisome at first. That is, until, they saw who it was that had dropped them a line to hope.

"Albus!" one Cornelius Oswald Fudge cried out from atop the roof, "Grab on and we'll get you out of there!" The man encouraged.

"You're a sight for sore eyes Cornelius! What took you!" Dumble dore howled over the din of battle. He motioned for the most battle weary to go first; which meant Viktor, Theo, Blaize, and Ernie, went up first. They were then followed by Justin, dean, Seamus, and Ron, all of which were glad to see Mad-eye moody and several other Aurors atop the building with the Minister.

"Fred George! Go, we got this!" Harry and Draco shouted, their combined efforts actually pushed back the horde, but only enough for their forces to escape. Albus tried to get them to leave, but when he saw they they were atop a mound of bodies almost twice the height of Hagrid himself, and also ushering him to go, he knew it was too late.

They all looked down and watched as the two bravest wizards they had ever known were enveloped by the pink and blue tide, they said their prayers. When they were done, Dumbledore asked Cornelius the most important question of all.

"Are we the only ones?"

"No... Everywhere else was hit... It was a miracle you got help in the first place, Deloris almost got me on my way out for my afternoon tea when this all started!"

"Then we must hurry... Find refuge... and plan our next move!"

At that, the wizards took flight upon a few re-sized brooms and headed off into the world to loom for survivors. Little did they know that they had only just started the longest game of cat-n-mouse the world had ever known!


End file.
